Twenty Two months this Month

I am hating myself today. And I feel like the lousiest mummy ever exist, Marshy is turning 22 months old today yet this mummy is at work. And is missing her like crazy. The hours felt like eternal. And I am hating it.

I am sitting through a management meeting but thinging oif your cheekiest smile when you are doing your barney dance. You should be having your bath now while this tall Dutch man claded in a grey business suit was doing his presentation. I think about your soap slicked body and wet hair framing your face sitting in the baby tub, contented to soak in with your bath toys. Then every minute or so you would look up at me and say: mama! with a smile.

I raced home with a longing heart and felt like I missed so much of you. But I know you save the sweetest smile and loudest chuckles for me. But I miss you so much I want to cry. I know, this mama, so needy.


Marshy is always a girlie girl. Look at how you feed your bear of the day.

I love you, Marshy. The way you love your bear bear.

Babies really do grow up! I need to capture everything in pictures and writing and most importantly capture these moments in my heart so that the beauty of being your mommy at every stage of your development can stay with me forever.

Today, twenty two months old.

To many many more happy days, my sweetie pie!

Mama loves you to the moon and back.

This cloud of Sadness

It has been a year since she left. As this day approaches, I dont know how it will be for me here on earth. It 's like I have this cloud hanging over my head and all of a sudden the sadness starts raining down on me.

Just one little peek into heaven, is all I am asking for today. I just want to know how's she doing in heaven. Is she playing majong with all the angels? Is she lonely? If you just let me look for a moment, to catch a glimpse of her smiling and kind face, I promise I wont try to take her away. I know, she 's in a better place. Just one little peek into heaven. Is all I am asking for today. I just want to know how is she doing. And heaven seems so far away.

How long must I wait till we meet again?

I miss you lots, grandma. Where are you?

Last Day of the Year. So what's Next?

What's Next?

What's Next? What's Next?

What's NEXT, Mum?

What is so Special about the last day of the Year? Calenders are changed time & again, traditions are tweaked over the years and holiday are moved about as if in competition. It is not the month, the time of the year nor even the holidays being celebrated we should give a damn about. It's the opportunity to do so. The emphasis on the very things we should be giving particular attention to year around is just about universal. For me, it is rather simple. Spending time with you.

What better way to wrap up the year and prepare for the next? It's not about resolutions but rather refining the resolution in which I view my life.

There is something special about closing a chapter and opening another new chapter in the book of life with you now. A new Adventure, new laughter, new tears, new friends, new ups and new downs with you. It doesnt really matter what we do. The fact is what ever happens the prospect of 2010 fills me with a sense of excitement and joy. And I hope you can feel the same way too.

I am going to give myself a last gift of the year- Take Stock. By focusing on what's important to me. I'd then know what to spend my time on through the holidays and everyday as well as what goals to work towards to in the new year. It's the simplest equation in life; by prioritising the things that matter, we have more time to enjoy and make the most of them.Beyond not taking all we value for granted, neither can we take for granted what is and isnt possible. I need to question my status Quo.

Cherish 2010 & each other. Cherish the Now.

Grounded

So much for enjoying the festive holidays-We were grounded because my marsh was down with a flu. It all started with a runny nose for a couple of days. I gave you the medication for the runny nose but it didnt get better. Instead it developed into a stuffy nose and a slight Phlegmy cough. PHLEGM!!!! The most feared word in my existing vocabulary due to your unpleasant encounter with it 16 months ago. Daddy and I fled to the PD on Boxing Day with you in tow. Phew! Dr Cheng said you had a mild flu and your lungs were clear. Phew Phew! You cannot imagine my nervousness.....

We went ahead to attend your cousin Val's party.

But the damn flu bug was persistent. You felt warm all over on Monday and your temperature hovered in the 37 range and you woke up couple of times in the night due to your stuffy nose and coughing fits. So we hurried down to Dr Cheng's again on Tuesday. The good news was- your lungs are clear! ! But the bad new was that you had a secondary infection and that explained your fever. We were given antibiotics and 4 other kinds of medication. I can live with that as long as the phlegm leave your lungs alone. Yes, I can live with that. Even though you turned into a monster when it is medicine time.

The next few days saw me stressed and drained trying my best to get some medication into a screaming, kicking toddler with no success. I was exhausted. We wrestled again and again over medicine taking and I guess I lost. (As well as lost my temper and resorted to screaming at you). I gave up and used the last alternative- to add the medicine into your bottles of warm milk or yogurt. Most times this works but sometimes it doesnt. I can still live with that.

I am exhausted, baby. I really am. Pls get well soon. Mummy loves you.

A day in the Life of Keri- before Mummy goes to Work.

Today is another one of those busy days for me as a FULL TIME WORKING MUM now. Getting up early and rushing to drop you off at Popo's before I head off to work. I have a busy day ahead of me fill with never ending meetings. All these madness make me miss my life as a Stay AT HOME MOM with you. It made me see the little wonders in our daily routine, simple and quiet as it may be. So I thought I 'd just pen down a little something about how our day used to be. Just for posterity's sake.

A Day in the Life of Keri- the Baby. (Before Mummy went back to work)

You are not a morning baby just like I am not a morning mummy. We both love to sleep in late and only wake up around 11am. But I always give you your morning milk at around 8.30-9am. You would finish your 240ml of milk in your sleeping mode within 4 minutes and flipped over and fell asleep with me again.

Then I would wake you up at 11ish if you are still not up by then. But you love to spend the next 10 mins tossing and turning about on the bed before you get up willingly. Thereafter, you 'd putter about while I fix your lunch in the kitchen. Then I put you in the highchair and on the TV for your favourite Hi 5! and feed you your lunch. After lunch, you like to zoom around with your toys while I wash up and prepare your bath. YOu love bathtimes and brushing your teeth.

And everyday, I'd play all your kindermusik CDs which you enjoyed and dance to the tunes. Oh yes, you danced alot everyday.

After bath, either we get ready to go for your classes or afternoon outings. And on those rare lazy days, we just stay at home and laze around and do what we do best- Nothing.I usually give you your milk about 3pm. On more exciting days, we hang out at the Airport, Polliwogs, East Coast or Changi Beach, Book stores, grocery shopping..... Some days it's just us, other days, we hang out with friends.

Then by the time we reach home, it's usually 5- 6ish. You 'd take a short nap on our way back. And while I make your dinner, you would just hang around in the kitchen just to be near me or you'd be reading your books by yourself.. And then I feed you your dinner around 7-7.30pm with Baby Estein playing on the google box. And then you are off playing again while I wash up. Mostly at this time, you'd hear the keys to the the door and your face light up and you 'd rush to meet Daddy at the door. Daddy and you would hug and kiss for the next 5 minutes.

Then Daddy and I would have our dinner while you play near us. afterwhich, I bath you and change you into your pyjamas and give you your bottle of milk. Most of the time, you would refuse to sleep and still want to hang out with us. And everynight, you 'd take your favourite books and climbed and sit on your daddy's laps. It's storytime. This has become a routine. Certain days you 'd fall asleep while sitting on Daddy's laps. But we have had our share of enduring nights when you refused to go to bed and stayed up till late.

So that's it. Our life before work. It's a simple life, Marsh. But rather charmed. Magically real with simple happiness and bliss.

1 Year Older,1 Year Wiser

28th November 2009
Another outstanding post sitting in the Draft coluum since last month.............

Today is my birthday, Marsh. This is the second time I am celebrating my birthday as a mother and each time it feels really surreal because you are celebrating my birthday with me. I do not know how many more times are there in store for us but I am counting my blessings and I am grateful for all of them.

This year I decided to give myself a new haircut for my birthday. I had been procrastinating for too long to do that. I wanted to go even shorter but my stylist insisted no. After the haircut, i felt I was born again- Rebirth.

Rebirth can takes many forms. It is a sort of rekindling of relationships, a type of faith renaissance, a kind of renewed existence, or simply just a change of attitude. This was how I felt when I had you. A new me.

And now on my birthday, I am still praying silently for a miracle rebirth.

Sorry Marsh, if I sound too cynical on my day.

Anyway, I had given some thoughts about how to enjoy my day. Though it is my birthday but I am only happy if you are. So I decided to bring you for your make up class at Kindermusik (you are always having so much fun in class) and then head down to the Airport where you can have guaranteed space for you to run off your energy! You are always happy running around at our favourite hangout place.

Since you came along, life isn't just me or my birthday anymore. Priorities have changed. It's you. That matters now. Maybe finally I have grown up.

Oh yes! Thank you Daddy for the ice cream cake!

Before my haircut.

A new hairdo, a new me?

My best birthday gift- My baby!

Mum, I can feed myself....

See? Not too bad, huh?

Let me try again, mum!

Yummy!

Marsh and me celebrated with a Zucchini and chicken baked rice for dinner. I have never really started training you on self feeding. I know books encourage this skill but I just never get around doing that. But you have been wanting to self feed and you can do it very well on your own. You are not very messy and you do get food into your mouth. Good job, Marsh!

Neither Here nor There

It has been few weeks since I had gone back to work and many people wondered how did I cope after such a long break. Well, I am still struggling and trying to cope. I find myself caught in a gray zone between work and home. I cant envision going back full time to the work I once enjoyed. I am not the same woman anymore. Somewhere along the way I misplaced my persona, the one who brazened it out for all those years.

As a mother, I would never be able to be free to devote my total time and concentration to the work or anything else anymore. For the past 8 months, I had taken 'leave' from work and I stepped into the role of SAHM without auditioning for the part. You were my full time job. And I pared my once crammed schedule down to the essentials. I had plenty of time with you but now that I have gone back to work, my time had suddenly become more precious. I measured more acutely what I was getting out of work. I have become more productive and efficient. As a working mum, I cannot afford to be a procrastinator anymore.

On certain days I miss you so much at work and wish I am home with you. I was feeling so conflicted. I consoled myself thinking that being home doesnt always translate into being with your kids. Some SAHMs spend as much time at the gym, or the hairdressers/spas. They are home but emotionally distant. I should work on Quality time instead. But having said that, I know I am just being jealous. Jealous of those mothers who can choose to stay home with their little ones.

I miss you , my little baby. That's all.

Have Fun, Marsh!

29th Oct 2009 Thursday

We had a packed schedule today. In fact we are having a really busy week fill with trials, classes and playdates.I cannot believe I actually went ahead and schedule you for two classes in a day. I had always resisted the temptation and the peer pressure to overschedule you. But on second thoughts, time is running out and once I start work next week, I wont have that much time to do this during week days. So we went for the JG's chinese trial today at 11am before going for your kindermusik's class in the afternoon.

In fact I had already enrolled you for JG's playclub some time back. But you cant start till you are 18 months old. I cannot believe this. You are going to be 18 months old in 3 months time! 18 months is a huge milestone because it is like a ticket for you to access a whole new world out there! Suddenly you are able to attend so many more kinds of classes and activities. That sets me thinking of replanning your time when you earn your ticket to the big world out there.

I am still standing firm on my belief that you are going to play through your childhood. Academic studies can wait. I am an advocate in learning through play. So if you can learn while having fun, it will be a bonus to me. Having said that, I am not against hot housing babies. I am just not convinced that helping you to develop a photographic memory will allow you a headstart in your life? How is that so? I dont understand.

However, I am all for progammes that can teach babies to read earlier. For example-Babies Can Read or the Zoo-phonics methodology. I will be more than happy if they can teach you to read earlier in life through some playful and unique approach.

I also believe that all babies are different. At this moment, I am choosing classes that allows you to play, sing and dance not only to awaken your musical and linguistic intelligence. But I have noticed you have shown a lot of interests in singing and dancing. Maybe your preferences will change in the near future, but meanwhile, just have fun!


First time at JG.

Having fun with the puzzles.

We went to have lunch with Auntie Gladys at Piccotin before your kindermusik class.

Still my happy and bouncy baby even after a very short nap in between the classes.

Balls away! You love helping Teacher Angel to put the balls away every lesson.

Have you seen a bored Marshmellow before?

Caught you looking bored one of the lazy afternoons. You just sat there with your pooh bear and stared into the air.

I am bored, mum!

I am genuinely bored, mum.

Did you just said you want to go to the beach?

Anyway, a few friends told me that since you appeared to be bored these days, I should consider

having another baby to keep you company.

So they say the first child gets the brunt of a nervous parent's paranoia and the last child gets away with murder. But my precious, you are going to be my first, last , my everything.

I knew with perfect clarity that I love you and that nothing else matters. Not even your boredom!

The most important things in Life aren't things

Countdown has started, Marsh. It has been confirmed that I shall be returning to work next month. Not working forever didnt seem like an option. You are 14 months old already and I have stopped work for the last 7 months to care for you. I have been delaying the plan because I cant bear to leave you. Initially, I trusted on one to care for you.

I know I am going to miss you. Miss sleeping in late with you. Miss taking our own sweet time to eat. Miss catching the Hi Five show at noon. Miss cooking and bathing for you. Miss just being with you every hour of the day. Just the two of us.

Life with you fills me in a way that work never did. As I stuffed cereal and porridge into your bowed mouth, or race around the room maniacally doing all funny moves to get you to crack a smile, I revel in the slow pace of our life, the not doingness of it all.

I feel like a mother kangaroo now, not willing but have to take you out of my pouch. To life. But I am grateful to be able to witness your growth and developments and many of your 'firsts' in life. These precious moments have deeply registered in my memories. I would feel really cheated if I miss the opportunity to fuss and kvell over your milestones.

I didnt understand before, though others had tried to tell me, how much space mother's love takes up. How it makes my heart feel too big and clumsy to fit in my chest, and brings pools of happy tears in the corners of my eyes.

It is too soon to project how work will fit into my life with you now and how I can best balance both. Work pulls us in with its rewards of financial compensation, self esteem and intellectual and social stimulation. But I wont miss your life or mine in the race to get things done.

I imagine the flickering shape of our future, the dance routines and beach outings and music appreciations and the first taste of fondue and museums and swimming in every ocean on the planet. I see us smiling together.

This, I hope will keep me sane when I start work. Better than sane. Happy.

The Playground of Life

To See A World In A Grain of Sand
and A Heaven in a Wild Flower
Hold Infinity in the Palm of your Hand
and Eternity in an Hour

Healing Baby

I am not feeling well, mum.`Can we take pics another day?

Ok.. Just One smile.

I am feeling giddy with all your flashlights!

Ok. That's it. I am off to dreamland.

When your baby is ill, it is the worst time in your life. I believe all mothers in this world can comprehend my feelings right now. You wish you are the one who is attacked by whatever virus. Come to me fever and leave my baby ALONE!

Last Thursday night, you started running a fever out of the blue and broke out in hives. I was worried sick and all the memories of you being sick when you were a newborn poured back.

I remembered I would cry when they pricked you numerous times for the jaundice test.

I remembered my tears rolled uncontrollably when Dr Terence Tan told me that you had Bronchitis or pneumonia when you were three weeks old.

I remembered I would cry because you had to be admitted to the hospital.

I remembered I would cry while rocking you for many many lonesome hours in my arms on the hospital bed.

I remembered I would cry so hard when they inserted the suction tube down your nostrils to clear your nasal passage.

I remembered I would cry because I was also feeling sickly weak, exhausted and lonely. There was no help out there.

I remembered I would cry because I was guilty of not having enough breast milk for you thus causing you to fall ill.

I remembered I would cry because I wasnt going to be able to protect you from this horrible world. Fear gnawed at me until at times I felt an aching emptiness in my belly.

Anyway, your fever this time brought back the feeling of nakedness and vulnerability I had felt as a new mother, a cold, hungry fear I thought I'd forgotten.

So happy you recovered steadily after a few doses of medication and is fine now. Except for some fading marks left by the hives. Both experiences have reinforce my belief in the importance of building a strong immune system through your daily diet and psychological well being. I believe a healthy baby is also a happy baby and vice versa.

My secret formula for a sick baby (other than medication) besides giving her plenty of total loving care is to keep the child happy. Do whatever makes her happy. For your case, I play a lot of your favourite music and tv programmes. I let you watch your current favourite- High 5! and sing and dance along with them..And I am glad that you are responding really well to my formula!

Get well, child. Mummy loves you infinitely.

Loving you Right from the start

Two years ago, your Dad and I have always been the kind who are daunted by the thought of little ones- screaming brats of the kind that annoy us. On flights, we never forget to make sure that our seats are assigned away from the emergency door where the baby bassinets are close. And everytime I see a common supermarket/ toyrus scenerio where children can be at their most demanding, I always wonder to myself how can a pint sized person wield such power over adults? Then I tell myself silently that this is Not going to happen to me. If I ever have a kid.

Guess these words are coming back to haunt me. I have been really concern about your growing temper and unwillingness to share recently. Well meaning friends told me that you are still young to understand the value of sharing and temper tantrums are a normal aspect of a toddler's life as you become aware that you have a choice about whether or not you comply with me. Seems like you toddlers learn from a very young age on how to manipulate and are quick to sum up a situation and use it to your own advantage.

Recently, you will whine and shriek when you dont get what you want or when others touch your toys. It is scary looking at you throwing tantrums. I feel a sense of frustration and helplessness. You are a little bit too young to be discipline but I find myself on the receiving end of disapproving looks from other adults. Am I becoming one of the innumerable mums today that are living in fear of their toddlers?, Afraid to incur their children's wrath, at the mercy of their tantrums, whining and wacky behaviour?

I used to give in to your every whim because you were so little and wouldnt understand. But now I think it is time to seriously look into my parenting plan and exercise authority. I have long made up my mind that you are not going to grow up as a pampered child. I dont want to breed a kid who doesnt know that the word 'no' means.

It is not going to be easy for me. I have the weakness for over indulging in you. This is probably due to the guilt for letting you fall sick and went through the ordeal when you were a newborn. And I have the fear that you will be deprieved if you dont get your way. So bear with me, Marsh. I have never been a parent before. I didnt slip into this role as naturally as I thought I would. I am trying my best.

So for all the firm 'No's that you will be hearing often from now on, all the rules and boundaries, time-outs, and naughty corners. I hope you will understand when time to come that I love you and I believe in teaching you good manners and little patience early in life and hopefully you wont become obnoxious or demanding as you get older.

I hope to love you RIGHT from the start.

Polliwogs Again

11th August 2009

This is our second time to Polliwogs. This was one of the days when I feel bored and I have to get out of the house. Life is immeasurably richer due to my decision to stay home and take care of you. However, as there are hours of sheer bliss, there are also moments of utter exasperation and, dare I say, boredom. I needed a time-out badly today so off we go to polliwogs. I was thinking of going to the Airport for a good latte and a good book initially since Auntie Lina and Trudy cant make it that day. But I changed my mind to go Polliwogs instead. You should be having Fun. We dont need two bored persons here.


What happened to the purple balls?

You love crawling through the tunnels.

London Bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down.

Hey, I found these cute little balls!

What Goes Unsaid

26th August 2009 Wednesday

Brought you to see Dr Terence Tan for your one year assessment today. Thank goodness we were first in queue but we still waited for at least 30 mins because Dr Tan came late. Anyway, for the record, you are 74cm and 10.3 kg at 1 year old. Dr Tan said you are growing really well and has the perfect weight. As usual, Daddy and I have a list of questions for him.

You were all peppy and outgoing until you received the 2nd shot (Prevenar) and you started wailing. I was quite surprised you were oblivious to the first shot (Havirix) and was still engrossed in your 'Igloo-Igloo'. But overall, you are my brave little girl.

It is heart wrenching for all mothers to see their babies cry during vaccinations even though we know very well the importance and goodness of these jabs. This reminded me of the difficult period we went through last year when you were born.

It was heartbreaking for me to see you go through the numerous prickings (blood tests) and the times they administera suction tube down your nostrils to clear your nasal passage. I remembered holding on to you tightly so that you wont struggle and at the same time I was crying together with you. I was feeling really helpless and useless.The kind nurses would then coaxed me to wait outside the room but I insisted to hold on to you while they treated you. I would hold on to you and hoping to give you the little comfort that I could offer then. I kept whispering in your ear: Be Brave, my baby.

Looking back, I realised I was kind of mentally stressed out. I was still in confinement and I have got homones and exhaustion clouding both my mind and body.I felt guilty for letting you fall sick. I wasnt fully prepared for all this. Like Alice down in the rabbit hole, I was plunged into a new world, one with its own vocabulary and rules of order! The whole experience had made me feel as if I was failing as a parent right from the begining. I kept asking myself if I could have done something to prevent you from getting sick at such a tender age. Maybe perhaps we should have kept the visitors away, or I should have try harder to breasfeed you exclusively.

So it was with this baggage and experience that I entered motherhood, determined to do my best to raise a healthy baby. Unknown to many, I appeared to be one fussy mummy who is paranoid about issues like strict/ organic diet, avoid strangers/ crowds, everyone (and I MEAN EVERYONE) washes their hands before any interaction. I minimised the times you come out from the room (ROOM and not house) for the first 4 months of your life.

I have also since learned to accept this as part of motherhood. Your godma once told me: Falling sick is Nature's way of building Immunity. These words were really helpful to me during those darkest hours. It lifts off some of the guilt in me. But I am coping well now. I still clean your mouth and hands for infinate times a day but I am definately better.

You were still murking around while waiting for our turn at the clinic.

Let's Boogie, Baby!

You have been dancing quite a lot recently. You would stand up, hands in the air and shake your booty. It is a really funny sight. Left, right, left, right, left, right. And when I tell you to sway your body, you will start swaying your body front, back, front, back... And you have been dancing a lot these days

And when you hear any songs playing (esp your favourite songs), you would go: Ta Ta Ta Ta Not the babyish blabbering but counting your beats to the song. Four beats or two beats. Ta Ta (a slow 2 beats).....Ta Ta Ta Ta (4 fast beats)

Several mummies from your class were telling me that you do have something for music after witnessing you dancing, tapping and swaying in class. I am just glad you love music and hope your passion for dancing will continue.

I love dancing and I used to dance alot. I took ballet and folk/ chinese dancing lessons and I danced my way through my primary school and first half of my secondary school. After that I continue my passion for dancing in Zouk- Retro Night

Anyway, since you seem to enjoy dancing, I am looking around hoping to find some dance classes for babies. You know, some fun sounding classes which involve a lot of moving around. But most dance classes are for toddlers age 3 and above.

But I have shortlisted Dance Babes at Jitterbugs for the time being. You cant start till you are two. So I will continue in my search for a Dancing class for my baby. In the mean time, I had already registered you at Jitterbugs.

So did you inherit your dancing genes from me? I have no idea but I sure hope you will always have something to dance about in your life.

Happy Birthday, Marsh!

20August Thursday / First of Seventh Month (Lunar Calendar)

Happy Lunar Birthday, Marsh! Today you turned ONE under the Chinese calender. Yeah, your lunar birthday falls on the first of the seventh month.

No big celebrations today. We went for your kindermusik class and then rushed home to prepare dinner. Uncle Fong came and joined us for mee sua dinner. I made you your very first bowl of mee sua and red eggs! Have been wanting to make you mee sua for the longest time but decided to wait till this special day. I am so happy that you love it and finished up one big bowl.

Ingredients for your mee sua-

Meat bone/Leek stock

Meesua

Egg Yolk

KaiLan leaves

Thread fin Fish

There are some meanings to having noodles on your birthday, Marsh. I think the long mee sua symbolises longevity and eggs mean ehhh? (will check it out).

As I watched you finishing up the noodles, I made a silent promise that I shall make you your meesua soup on your every lunar birthday till the day you dont want to eat it anymore.

Milk Milk!

19th August Wed
You had your last bottle of Enfapro's milk tonight. You will be officially moving on to EnfaGrow (Age1-3years)by your next milkfeed. I am feeling a tinge of sadess while making you your milk. When I handed you your bottle, I told you this: Baby, this is your last bottle of Enfapro in your life. So enjoy!

You finished your 210ml of milk happily within 6-7 mins.

This is one of the little things in life that is perpectually reminding me that your babyhood is slipping away. Soon you will gradually not need me in the same way you once did.

My baby girl who is now the center of my world will be developing a life of her own. Oh no.. I am getting really emotional about you growing up.

Toddler Hood

Ta! Da! Welcome to toddler hood, darling! I woke up and turned to look at you. Besides the fact that I am now officially the mother of a toddler, life still goes on as usual.

But you are slowly proving me wrong. You are living the fact that you had bloomed from babyhood into a toddler by becoming more independent.

I don't know if it is coincidental or what. But you refused to let me hold your bottle since you turned one. I mean, you already know how to hold your milk bottle since you were like 6 or 7 months old but you were not consistent and always let go when I want to take over. But since you tuned one, you hold on to your bottle fiercely till you are done and refused to let anybody hold for you.

And I have to mention that you are one smart baby. Whenever I pass you your milk bottle, you will try to touch the bottle and ensure it is not too hot before you take over. When you were younger, I always urge you to move on to the next step: flipping, crawling, clapping, waving. Now that you are becoming more independent, I'd give anything to roll them back a bit and constantly wonder where the past year went. Anyway, I am just glad I am here to witness your developments and I am going to ensure that I shall savour every future little step you take. They will be gone too soon. Too too soon.

Moon and Stars

Life's cupcakes- You 'll never know what you going to get. Sunshine, rainbow or starry nights.

Sensational One!

Your Birthday reminds me of how much you mean to me and candles are milestones on the journey to wisdom.. And I m looking forward to be always by your side when every additional candle is added each year.

I had long decided on the theme of your party-the Wonderment of the Moon and the Stars for my Magical Baby. I had designed and customised your cake and the cupcakes to the theme. I hope you like it. I love it. Many people asked me why did I choose this theme? Three good reasons, Marsh.

Reason 1. Your Favourite Baby Estein DVD - The Galaxy. You love the show and can watch this disc over and over again. You always look so enchanted by the sun, planets and especially the moon and the stars. You even know how to open and close your ten little fingers when the song Twinkle Twinkle Little star is played.

Reason 2. While celebrating you, I wish to remember my grandmother , your great grandmother who passed away 2 months ago. Her chinese name means the moon or the lady from the moon. That was why I have the moon topper on the Cake. The moon resembles her. I want her to know that she is not forgotten but greatly missed.

Reason 3. Last but not least, my wish for you is always be happy and be over the moon! And I hope I can inspire and encourage you to find and follow your own star in your life. You will then see how different the world can be.

SO when everyone was singing the birthday song and the single candle was lit on the birthday cake, I was hoping you will one day understand the hidden meaning of it all . I was also secretly celebrating my own year of enchantment as your mother.

Happy First Birthday, Marsh.

Mummy Loves you more than the Sun, the Moon and the Stars.