Not as Easy as ABC

I think I am on the right track to raising a reader. SO glad that you seem to have shown an enduring fondness for books. At least you don't chew them up! You will do anything to get your hands on the books around you. Be it your own books, my novels, your dad's magazines or our organisers. Most of the time, you will put them in front of you and go through them page by page patiently. You would flip every page using your thumb and index finger till you come to the end of the book. Sometimes you would blabber as you turned the pages. I think this is your way of Reading Out Loud. And you can spend a long time doing that!

My little reader!

Look how serious and engrossed you were!

Have you seen a bored Marshmellow before?

Caught you looking bored one of the lazy afternoons. You just sat there with your pooh bear and stared into the air.

I am bored, mum!

I am genuinely bored, mum.

Did you just said you want to go to the beach?

Anyway, a few friends told me that since you appeared to be bored these days, I should consider

having another baby to keep you company.

So they say the first child gets the brunt of a nervous parent's paranoia and the last child gets away with murder. But my precious, you are going to be my first, last , my everything.

I knew with perfect clarity that I love you and that nothing else matters. Not even your boredom!

Graduation Day Again

8th Oct 2009 Thursday

Time really flies. It is Graduation Day again. It has been a long 8 months with Kindermusik. And both of us had really enjoyed our time there. I was still contemplating to stop this Thursday's class for a few reasons. Of course one of them being me going back to work soon. Nevertheless, due to the nature of my work schedule, I do have the flexibility to continue to bring you for the thursday class. But on the other hand, I am thinking of finding you another enrichment class other than Kindermusik. We are going to start JG in a few months' time so I was hoping to try something else in the mean time.

I have been thinking about this for some time but I am hesitant to stop this thursday class because I am going to miss the friends I made over these months. I don't have too many mummies friends whom I can relate to. And none of my own friends wanted to gab about baby's diet, babyproofing and so on. You get what I mean?

However, I brought you for a makeup class on Saturday and I observed that you were really reserved and not your usual self. You don't seem to enjoy the class the way you always did in your thursday class. You just kept looking at Ms Angel whom was`the only familiar person around the classroom. You must be wondering where are all your friends?

You know what, Marsh? I was feeling the same way too. I felt like an alien who has just landed from another planet. I am not trying to be judgemental and it is probably me but the class besides being chilly (from the aircon) was COLD. Initially I thought everybody was ignoring me. But No! Nobody was talking to each other and all the parents were acting as if they were from different planets and do not speak each other's language. They just came and left in silence.

I then realised that both of us were so lucky to be in a class surrounded with all the nice and friendly mummies. The atmosphere was definitely different and I would definitely want you to be having fun in a loving and cosy environment. So now I am having second thoughts about stopping your class.


Here is our beautiful Trudy- receiving her certificate from teacher Angel

Hmmmm.... where is mine?

Finally it is my turn! My Fourth certificate from Kindermusik!

Mum, I am going to miss the balls too if you stop my class....

Heard they say you are leaving our class?

Can you not leave? Please?

Mum, I can't get Tory to stay! We are going to miss her.

Melbourne, here we come!

My own internal mommy war has started even before I am back to work. The day I knew I am going back to work, I began viewing everything through the telescopes lens of a person with limited time.

The time I do have with you is a scarce resource, precious as black pearls. And I do want to do something special with you before reality sets in and life has to go on. Therefore, I have decided to go ahead and bring forward our holiday plans!

I know most babies your age would have travelled at least half the world but you have just gotten your passport last week. I have been conflicting myself with the decision to bring you overseas ever since you turned 6 months old. I can imagine the fun and excitement travelling with you but I was living up to my reputation of a paranoid mum. Not too sure if I was hormonal or was just gripped by catastrophic fantasies. I was insecure and not confident to travel with you. I was just not ready. Thousands of 'what ifs' swam in my head. What if you fall sick? What if you are uncomfortable on the flight? What if you can't sleep well? I was afraid I couldn't protect you. These what ifs are enough for me to delay our travelling plans till now.

I reminded myself that the dawn of my SAHM status is going to be over in a finger snap, so savour every second with you now and just heed my gut instincts and do what I want us to do! So Daddy and I are bringing you to Melbourne this coming Wednesday! We want to have a get away before I goes back to work. This is our first family trip and you are going to meet all your uncles and aunts and lots of cousins there for the very first time! You may not know but we have a big family scattered everywhere in Australia.

This is a very special trip to Melbourne, Marsh. Theoretically, this is your second trip there. My last visit was dated back to Dec 2007 when I was already pregnant with you without realising it. I wonder and am curious if you can still recall and maybe find the place familiar?

Anyway, although this is going to be a short trip, it is like a homecoming for us. I have tons of things to pack for you. I better get started. I am excited, are you ?

The most important things in Life aren't things

Countdown has started, Marsh. It has been confirmed that I shall be returning to work next month. Not working forever didnt seem like an option. You are 14 months old already and I have stopped work for the last 7 months to care for you. I have been delaying the plan because I cant bear to leave you. Initially, I trusted on one to care for you.

I know I am going to miss you. Miss sleeping in late with you. Miss taking our own sweet time to eat. Miss catching the Hi Five show at noon. Miss cooking and bathing for you. Miss just being with you every hour of the day. Just the two of us.

Life with you fills me in a way that work never did. As I stuffed cereal and porridge into your bowed mouth, or race around the room maniacally doing all funny moves to get you to crack a smile, I revel in the slow pace of our life, the not doingness of it all.

I feel like a mother kangaroo now, not willing but have to take you out of my pouch. To life. But I am grateful to be able to witness your growth and developments and many of your 'firsts' in life. These precious moments have deeply registered in my memories. I would feel really cheated if I miss the opportunity to fuss and kvell over your milestones.

I didnt understand before, though others had tried to tell me, how much space mother's love takes up. How it makes my heart feel too big and clumsy to fit in my chest, and brings pools of happy tears in the corners of my eyes.

It is too soon to project how work will fit into my life with you now and how I can best balance both. Work pulls us in with its rewards of financial compensation, self esteem and intellectual and social stimulation. But I wont miss your life or mine in the race to get things done.

I imagine the flickering shape of our future, the dance routines and beach outings and music appreciations and the first taste of fondue and museums and swimming in every ocean on the planet. I see us smiling together.

This, I hope will keep me sane when I start work. Better than sane. Happy.

The Playground of Life

To See A World In A Grain of Sand
and A Heaven in a Wild Flower
Hold Infinity in the Palm of your Hand
and Eternity in an Hour

My Marshmellow turns 14 months on Children's Day

Happy 14th Months old, baby! And Happy Children's Day!

Today we attended your kindermuzic class. Time really flies! The term is coming to an end and today is the second last lesson of Dew Drops. Not too sure if we are able to continue with this Thursday class anymore. I am definately going to miss all the mummies and babies here whom we have grow to know and like over the last 8 months.

Since it is Children's Day, you babies all received a purple balloon. You were so fascinated by your own balloon and kept saying: loon......loon...loon...
Hey Balloon! Can I fly with you?

See my purple balloon? It's mine.

To celebrate this day, I want to do something different with you so i took you to the Botanics Gardens after class. This is our first time here. Fyi, I have never been to this place before. SO thanks to you, Marsh. I get the chance to discover this awesome place. I have always thought that Botanic gardens is an urban forest with lots of mozzies. I drove past this place uncountable times but it never crosses my mind to step into this mysterious place before. ANyway, we visited a small part of the gardens today. Didnt have time to do much.

Roaming around.

Wait for me, mum!

Let me strike a pose for you, mum!

Caught you staring at this leave so intensively.

I was planning to have a picnic here but on second thoughts, I am going to be the only one eating since I was alone with you. So maybe next time.

Next time, we shall be back with our pinic basket and insect repellant and also appropriately dressed for the occasion. Today you were dressed in Jeans and t-shirt because the classroom was really chilly these days. So we didnt walk too far in but merely took a walk together and enjoying each other's company.

So this is the deal,Marsh. We shall come back here again. But maybe instead of the picnic basket, we can actually order a coupe of pizza from Casa Verde which is round the corner. The pizzas look so so good and they are having this amazing 1 for 1 deal for takeaway orders! What do you say?