Loving you Right from the start

Two years ago, your Dad and I have always been the kind who are daunted by the thought of little ones- screaming brats of the kind that annoy us. On flights, we never forget to make sure that our seats are assigned away from the emergency door where the baby bassinets are close. And everytime I see a common supermarket/ toyrus scenerio where children can be at their most demanding, I always wonder to myself how can a pint sized person wield such power over adults? Then I tell myself silently that this is Not going to happen to me. If I ever have a kid.

Guess these words are coming back to haunt me. I have been really concern about your growing temper and unwillingness to share recently. Well meaning friends told me that you are still young to understand the value of sharing and temper tantrums are a normal aspect of a toddler's life as you become aware that you have a choice about whether or not you comply with me. Seems like you toddlers learn from a very young age on how to manipulate and are quick to sum up a situation and use it to your own advantage.

Recently, you will whine and shriek when you dont get what you want or when others touch your toys. It is scary looking at you throwing tantrums. I feel a sense of frustration and helplessness. You are a little bit too young to be discipline but I find myself on the receiving end of disapproving looks from other adults. Am I becoming one of the innumerable mums today that are living in fear of their toddlers?, Afraid to incur their children's wrath, at the mercy of their tantrums, whining and wacky behaviour?

I used to give in to your every whim because you were so little and wouldnt understand. But now I think it is time to seriously look into my parenting plan and exercise authority. I have long made up my mind that you are not going to grow up as a pampered child. I dont want to breed a kid who doesnt know that the word 'no' means.

It is not going to be easy for me. I have the weakness for over indulging in you. This is probably due to the guilt for letting you fall sick and went through the ordeal when you were a newborn. And I have the fear that you will be deprieved if you dont get your way. So bear with me, Marsh. I have never been a parent before. I didnt slip into this role as naturally as I thought I would. I am trying my best.

So for all the firm 'No's that you will be hearing often from now on, all the rules and boundaries, time-outs, and naughty corners. I hope you will understand when time to come that I love you and I believe in teaching you good manners and little patience early in life and hopefully you wont become obnoxious or demanding as you get older.

I hope to love you RIGHT from the start.