Bad Mommy

16 May 2009

I broke my promise today. I promised you on the 13th Feb 2009 (Friday the 13th) when you had your first fall that I will never allow that to happen again. But you fell off the bed again today :(

Sorry sweetheart, I am so so sorry. Why am I so careless? I remembered very clearly the first time. I left you in the middle of the bed with pillows around after your bath and left the room. After a few seconds, Daddy and myself heard a loud 'thump!' I dashed in the room and found you on the floor. I carried you up and hugged you tight. You were crying and I was crying too. After a while, I was crying even louder than you were. You stopped and turned and stared at me for a few secs before continuing to cry. YOu must be wondering why am i stealing your show???

This time round, you fell right in front of me. I turned away from you for one second to talk to your dad and the next second you were on the floor!!!! I carried you up and hugged you tight and we cried together again. sob sob... Thankfully, your dad was around for the two times to do the right thing. He took over you and pacified you before giving you a thorough check. To make sure you are not hurt or bruised.

Nobody can understand the pain i felt unless you are a mother. The flood of guilt and love that swarms every ounce of you. I wish I were the one who fell. I hate myself for letting you fall. Thank goodness you are alright or I 'll never forgive myself.

Now I understand why the mother hen would fiercely protect over her chicks. Because this is what mothers do. A natural instinct to protect our little ones.

Sorry, Marsh. Mommy is really very sorry.